A Month without Dave: THe Pros and Cons

The Positive to Being Dave-Free

- No Golf. Be it in the form of balls and clubs randomly strewn around the house, the inflexible fact that should Tiger be playing in an obscure US Tournament we WILL be watching it, or having to watch/film Dave’s swing over and over in order to determine whether the slide in his backswing has disappeared (it hasn’t).

- The bed is all mine. Never has it been so necessary to own all the pillows and sleep on the diagonal. This is always the best thing about him not being around, and I’m not sure if he will be allowed back on it for the final month of pregnancy.

- Cooking (and shopping) for one is a breeze.

- I can watch movies that are longer than 90 minutes. And don’t fit the specific formula that interest him (bring on Lord of the Rings…)

- Singing in the shower. I can belt it out without being told to shut up. Currently on high rotation are all show tunes, Snow’s ‘Informer’ and anything by Amy Grant. It struck me yesterday how many of Amy Grant’s songs had her singing to her ‘Baby’ which I found oddly amusing and delightful.

- The house is spotless. Rather than spend an hour at the end each night chasing the hurricane which is Dave, cleaning is reduced to 10 minutes. And this includes cleaning under the buttons on the oven.

- In the same vein of cleaning – Not having the frustration of finding a dirty plate at the very edge of the kitchen counter, instead of in the unpacked dishwasher 2 metres further on. And not having to rationalise the half-arsed attempt as ‘at least it’s in the kitchen’.

- Not having to mop up the rive river of water that leaks out of our bathroom after Dave has his 20 minute shower with the water on full boar.


The Negative to Being Dave-Free

Well if I started writing this list I would probably get myself all sad. Plus pinpointing exactly what is wrong with Dave not being here is like trying to catch a slippery bar of slippery soap on a gravity-free day in Slipperyland. Whist being lathered in grease. So lets just say that Dave is the Coke of my world and things simply just ‘Go Better with Dave’. Much better.