The Lamest Blog Ever? Probably.

Right. So this blog thing ain’t going too well lately and quite frankly I’ve got the new episode of True Blood in my hot little hands so I really don’t want to be doing this right now. But it has been an awful long time so I’ll chuck a few of them dot things your way


• The new doctor who. Strangely attractive.

• What is with 99.9% of new builds in Adeliade?!?! They are monstrously ugly. Its a real bee in my bonnet right now. Who is to blame – Adeladians or the woeful architects? As norwood and the surrounding areas get subdivided into infinity it grosses me OUT to see what they are putting up. Seriously. They are dated before they even finish. Don’t do an imitation. Don’t do pillars. Don’t do townhouses. If you are going to do modern to a white cube. That’s it. Just a white cube. Nice.

• In the same vein, we are considering living in St Morris for a bit, tidying it up, maybe adding a new kitchen etc for sale later on - however the agent told us the other day not to bother. That it’s almost certain whoever buys the block will knock it all down, subdivide, build 2 and sell. Gross. Gross Gross. How gross are we with our over populating.?

• Eclipse out in 2 days. Just saying.

• Reading the True Blood books like they are cocaine and I’m stuck in a panic as books 5 to 9 are somewhere near south America, weeks away from arrival. Is it wrong this is the only thing I miss?

• All is going well but the headline still reads: WE DON’T KNOW. We don’t know anything. Our current address is Limbo and it all seems far too hard to make any concrete decisions. Damn you world and your current oyster-like state. We are toying with the St Morris thing above or moving somewhere a wee bit nicer. DON’T KNOW.



Thats’ about it for now. Sorry for the lameness. Trube Blood season 3 episode 3. If you watch it, you know know what im talking about...

apologies galore

you know how im always like 'wah wah wah, life is on top of me, i cant POSSIBLY blog, my children might die, blah blah blah' ? well, life is geniunely throwing punches at the moment. not only can i not shake jet lag, but two little boys cannot shake jetlag either and I have a HUGE  list of things from phone plans to house hunting to medicare to childcare to simply having a shower. ze blog is way down the list. way, way, way, way WAY down the list (well, apparently not that way down, cos here i be... oh procrastination, my old nemisis). So whilst this particular entry is not going going to inform you of any details other than we are here, alive and starting a new chapter with excitment and panic, I DID want to say a big thank you and HELLO to a few emails and texts I have had from some eager aussie beavers and yet not acknowledged. Seriously - im loathe to actually 'clear out' my inbox, god knows the additional work I have awaiting me in it's depths. But today I managed to charge a mobile phone and am now back on my old Aussie mobile (the one i have had for the past few trips home). I'm not saying im going to answer you (single parenting n a haze of jetlag?!?! mghehadnlhjbvkfdjnbvdfjlnvfd is all i have to say to that) but am receiving.  Hopefully turn a corner in the next day or two. Watch this space.

An Engagement

This one is to placate the Canadians.

Last Saturday Buffy touched down in London for what would be a memorable day. She had 24 hours access to a child-free Heather and a date with the Lion King. A day that could possibly not be out-done..... You would think.

However it was out-done... and then some. For the very same moment Buffy was flying into Heathrow, unbeknownst to her, El Capitano was making his way though customs. A fact that she would not find out until 6 hours later when whilst sitting at a table in Roast – an excellent restaurant nestled in the eaves of the Borough Market - he appeared around the corner, lowered to bended knee in front of her and presented her with a the sort of bling that made my eyes bleed and Dave a very unhappy man.

Amazing.

I was lucky enough to play a small role which included getting Buffy into the restaurant and pointing Capitano to the general vicinity. It was, probably the most exciting and special piece of espionage I have ever been involved with. Below are a few pics I managed to grab when they invited me back half an hour later.

Congratulations kids. An excellent match, a wonderful day. Bring on the wedding. Fall 2010 sounds good to me...

i can't even tell you how long it took me to convince Buffy not to wear the hotpants. Some long and involved story about looking fierce in heels and dresses for the theatre was used.

the view

the result?

what you are all actually waiting to see...

buffy re-inacts the momet she saw Captain Fantastic walk around hte corner.  Minus ring of course. What was she thinking? 'I wonder if anyone would notice if I just ate this pot of butter....' Seriously.

so so so pretty. and delicate. and ME dammit.

even closer. Not sure why blogger has stretched this photo. might try to fgure it out lter (when small children are literally not screaming at me)

the contrast makes it less shiny, but SHINY and SPARKLY it is.

buffy does the weight test.

the happiest man in the world.

happy tears....or sinus problems.

yikes. not sure why pic all mashed. kinda scary. will edit later when kids not yelling at me.

buff informs The Daily Mail.

where they sat, from below.

happily ever after.

Revenge of the dot

ok. so here's a few things

• wanna see pics of the place we live. Check this out. Those ten pics pretty much show it all. Except for the MESS. THat was momentarily swept under the rug.
• Marina and the Diamonds could be my phase. After pretty much wearing out Florence and the Machine on my ipod (seriously. THAT much), im suspecting this lady might be next in line. She's had quite a few hits on the radio here and i hear this one on the radio today. I'm not sure if this is acceptable to say, but it had a bit of a F. Apple feel to it. Which in my book, is a pretty awesome thing.

• thats about it really. maybe watch this for an update.
• OH. Buffy got engaged whilst in London! Way to go Nat. You two make me vomit with your awesomness. Full Operation Put A Ring On it. details to com

LOL

Well Ladies and Gents, I have been given the official go ahead to blog-up the news that we Anderwoods are moving back to Adelaide. The boys and I touchdown on June 3, the little lady follows 2 weeks later. A lot has happened in my life these past 5 years in London, im equal parts excited and terrified about moving back. Well, mostly excited, it’s just that those small little bits of terrified seem to scream pretty loudly. I am very looking forward to having friends and family again and being able to do little things like get an hour to cut my hair or even go to the movies. OMG!!


But will be very sad to leave London - for a whole host of reasons, one of which is missing a final London summer. This past week has delivered some sensational weather, sun every day, t-shirts and today a dress! And all weather jokes aside, if there is one thing London does well - it is summer. Whilst the actual sunny days are few, I honestly believe that when the sun is in the sky, oh why oh why, would you want to be anywhere else? London comes alive and it is sensational.

Unfortunately though, not much I am able to do. For even though today couldn’t be sunnier, I am stuck to the house. For dave is stranded somewhere on the west coast of Ireland as volcanic ash empties the London skies. And not looking like moving anytime soon. Today he began his own little Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Drive to the Cork, ferry to Wales (10 hours! Standing room only!), then a train to London or something like that. However perhaps this is penance seeing as the delay meant he had an extra two days in an area that has 3 of the best golf courses in the world within rambling distance. Poor thing.

Oh. And I guess the major headline is that we cut Rocco’s hair. All off. See ya later bouffant. There is some forgotten rationale behind the rash move, but the result was shocking. It is literally like we have a new kid in my house and what the hell did he do to Rocco? It is bizarre the difference simply hair can make. However, a week on, I have come to love it. Although I miss those long, wavy locks – so primed for ruffling – the bruiser boy, unhidden by sweet curls, has been revealed and he is not only stupid cute, but has facial expressions that silence the room.

I may have gone a bit overboard in the photo department. I'm sure there won't be any complaints.

BEFORE:

 

IT BEGINS.....

shauna-lee from sydney. she does all our hair. rocco is rocking a cockfighter top. Well, we WERE on Bermondsey Street. Respect.

THE RESULT:

 i kid, i kid.  But can you imagine?  I wish we had left it like that. If only for a week or so. Anyway:

IT CONTINUES:

 

he's actually really excited here. he does this a lot.

 

obviously that gunk in hair was washed out and it is a pretty bog stadard cut. will post some photos on that other blog soon of it all au natural

 

Don't Worry

you are in the right place. I just took notice of what this blog is called for the first time in ages - 'the world according to heather'. Blah blah blah. Crap name. Something rushed out 5 years ago with little thought for originality and largely resultant from having recently read that Garp book. Although it's replacement is hardly clever (one word being substituted for it's close profanity) and only representitive of the my current (pretty unsuccessful) pastime. Suggestions are welcome.  Although none with the word Heather in it will be taken seriously. And worry not, content is unlikely to change. No threat of a re-vamp. Did you not read the post below about low motivation?!? I'm suprised I even did this. Perhaps add self-loating to that list.

Update my photos? ...Why dont you update yours? Oh wait. You dont have a blog now, do you? Nuff said.

Perhaps just add loathing to the list.

I'm sorry. My children wake at 6am. I find it hard to be good humoured in the face of such torture.

An attemp at good-humourt: Other possibilities for blogname:

- 3 boys and a Raving Banshee
- Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
- What I got, I gotta Get, and Put it in You.
- The Increasingly Crap Blog
- Blah Blah Blah. Me Me Me. Vomit. (next to an image of vomit)
- I hate Golf
- The Home of Poo Presents.
- Ramblings of a Hermit
- What? Well where's YOUR Blog?
- Scraping The Bottom Of the Mummy Blog Barrel
- Why yes, a glass of red DOES sound delightful!
- The Anti-Procreation Blog.
- The Anti-Golfer Blog
- Don't give your partner a couple of golf-related books for Christmas, lest you pique his interest in a relatively latent desire and he creates a 'life-goal' and decides to try to break par in the next year. That would be stupid. Really Stupid.
- How much porn is too much?
- Diary of an Amazon addict.
- The Vampire Diaries is lame. It has no redeeming features. So Why can't I look away?
- Master of No Universe.
- Almost 40.
- Which Part of NO Did You Not Understand?


Thats all I got. And my glass is empty. Refill!

So please, comment away. Knock yourselves out.

Did i spell whisperer right? No doubt Mez will enlighten.

Over and Out.

Back. From Outer Space.

Well back home in London and pretty much adjusted to the old routines. But a bout of child vomiting, copious housework and almost zero general motivation has led me to all but forget that I have this little old blog. Indeed I have nothing to say other than yes we are all alive. Oh and that the weather is awesome. Darkness now falls at 6pm and we have had 3 days on the trot of 10 degrees plus and sunshine. Whilst no doubt things will occassionally relapse into hideous coldness in the next month or two, spring is most definitely on it’s way. Another London winter survived.


Nean’s wedding was an absolute blast. She looked INCREDIBLE and there were many touching moments so perfect of such an occasion. I managed to remain sober enough to mumble my way through a speech late in the evening and then released myself onto the dance floor. The night went far too fast and I want to do it all over again. I LOVE weddings, please invite me to yours, I won’t let you down on the dancefloor. I met some fabulous new people which I pretty much plan on stealing from Eleanor and calling them my own and the few child-free days down at Aldinga were a treat. Unfortunately I did not take any photos due to flower holding responsibility, but I hope to steal a few from Kate when she has finished touching them up to levels of offensive beauty.

Otherwise all is well. I am fighting my way through a busy patch catching up on pile of work thrown to the wayside over the past month and other family-related obligations. BUT have a few exciting things on the horizon which my parents coming over in a month and a trip to Amsterdam with the Mez and Buffy at the end of April (which some of you might already be wanting us to shut the hell up about – POLER-DAM!!!!). And in something of a shocking turn of events, Dave will be coming with us!! Which besides one night at a wedding last year, will be the first time the both of us have been without children for a couple of nights!In Amsterdam – three cheers for Roy and Sue!

Anyway – the tasks and errands I mention above need a good seeing to and children due to wake any minute. It’s good to be back, more soon I promise.

will i need a winter coat?

Well ladies and gents, im pretty much outta here. London that is. Headed to sunnier pastures and the sound of wedding bells. On my lap for the 24 hour journey is the 18 month old lump known as Rocco. An interesting prospect in a tight seat to begin with, made all the more so by the fact that it is apparent he has come down with a cold in the last 24 hours. Made even more interesting by the fact that Rocco appears to have a cough-vomit reflex which sees him vomit... oh.... 10-15 times a day/night in order to clear phlegm from his throat. Awesomely awesome stuff to consider when eyeing down a cramped economy cabin. For 24 hours. Oh. And he also refuses to sleep anywhere except for his bed next to a cuddly penguin that is larger than he is so no chance of making weight restrictions on this trip. And then when I land I'm going to have hair ripped out of most of the pores on my body to reveal a blindingly white skin to the masses of tanned Adelaide and my large collection of bruises. Dear god – how did i get so clumsy? That thing on my shin is HUGE and blue and I have no idea where it came from, so insignificant (And regular) are my skirmishes with chairs and sharp corners. But when did the awful bruising begin? Could my descent into nanahood already have begun?




Sorry. I am about to enter the familiar panic zone which is travelling to the opposite of the globe with a young child in a sardine can under the constant weight of everyone else’s irritation . I have only a tacit grip on my sanity.



I have promised dave that I will update the boy’s blog with Rocco pics every day, but I think we all know that aint gonna happen, but I will try my damndest to do it. Once at the very least. But 99% of my readers, do not fear, you shall be seeing himself and myself on Friday night as we devour vegetarian calzones at the European.

xxh

hilarity ensued.

Wow. This blog is going to be one of those blogs that i’m sure retrospect and comment silence will tell me was best left in my head. But bugger it, I got nothing else.

Today i came across a youtube clip that burnt into my psyche over 10 years ago (seriously – youtube and wikipedia?! Are you single? Cos you got it going ON). A music clip to a song that I caught a few times on early morning Rage, and like Tenacious D’s classic Tribute, would have me grinning stupidly for its entirety. I’d never been able to remember the song’s name or indeed the artist. For the past ten years I would intermittently ask people if they had heard of the song Theopolis Disco, you know, the one with the guys in the character suits, competing on the swings (weyhey! C’MON! Beat that!) and dune jumping...but to no avail. Had I been cool enough to listen to more triple J in those days, it would have been a no brainer : Sonic Animation’s classic ‘Theophilus Thistler’

Now, i realise most of you ignore the clips i post and this one IS a slow burner and very budget - BUT if you don’t get to the 2:30 mark and not think something to the effect of ‘holy crap those guys are having the time of their LIVES they are GENIUSES’ then perhaps this blog and my mind is not worth your time.



And to be a bit philosophical about why I share this with you, it’s in no small part because it took me back to those fun times- to being young, free, totally inspired and running amok. I’m not too sure where that all went, or why such times seem so far away. I miss them so much. How did I go from that to this in 5 years? I feel closer to 40 than 30. Sitting here in my uniform of trackies and snot-covered top, thumbing through cooking books after finishing all my chores with a cup of tea, waiting patiently for my nemesis hubby to return from golf. It’s been over 2 months since I have had even an hour away from the children and each day i tread water, completing the same menial tasks on auto-pilot, too exhausted to have a conversation when one is on offer when the kids are finally in bed. Instead choosing bad reality TV or pathetic celebrity blogs to pass the time. Woe is me. : )  Grass is always greener, hey? ......and i obviously wouldn’t change things for the world of course. I suppose it’s my penance for having 2 ridiculously cute kids.



I can’t tell you all how much i am looking forward to coming to Oz in a few weeks. I need the break, i need the human contact. So watch out Adelaide!!! My mind has severely deteriorated from the weight of the mundane and I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

i have already hired the suit.

Consider yourself informed.

Apologies for the silence on here (and that beautiful blog o boys) but i’ve been a bit sick. For almost a month. The flu hit me before Christmas, and one month on, I’m still yet to get ownership of my nasal passages, throat and ability to sleep without being interrupted by a phelm-spluttering cough just as I drift off. It’s almost disappeared a few times, but then flared up again, finding me stuck endlessly in a state of being sick, run-down and demotivated. It’s a miracle that I even posted all that stuff from Devon (of which there is more to come – can you believe it!? Damn you amazing camera and the photos you make me take). Add to this concoction 2 little boys who have inherited and suffered from the same cold. Fevers for Fred and poor Rocco is unable to hhhuuuurgh the phlem out of his throat and ends up vomiting. Sometimes four or five times a night. I don’t even own that many sheets and giving hairwashes as midnight ain’t really helping my sleep/run-down-ed-ness.


So what’s new? Let me dot-point it for you..

• Flights are booked for a short trip to Oz (23 Feb to 9 March) during which I will be guest-starring at Eleanor’s wedding. A great, great source of joy for me, I simply cannot wait. She is just the most sensational person who I love with all my heart and I cannot wait to share this amazing day with her. However I rather foolishly gave my dress measurements pre-goose fat season and have irrationally convinced myself that my beloved muffin has risen and therefore constrained myself this past week to all that is low GI (WHO approved diet-lifestyle of choice, so no hunger involved just abstinence from processed foods and toblerone). Ordinarily I’d be chipper with my current bod, but turning up to a dress fitting one week before D-Day with more than you promised is something of a cardinal sin.

• I’ve also been gifted a speaking role on the above day which is an absolute honour and - as those of you who know me well would know –not something I ordinarily be too concerned about. But three years of intensive mummy-brain and the realisation that 90% of those watching me have no idea who I am, has made me a bit nervous. All i can think of is silly poems all of which are too un-PC to post even here (but make me giggle hilariously).

• I know i’ve put this up on my teeny-blog-twitter thing, but if you haven’t already, you really should check out http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays its the bomb.

• Tonight i cooked mez’s turkey leg soup. Minus the turkey leg. Unable to source any in central London (more to do with the ambivalence of the man I sent to source it than London itself I am sure) we substituted chicken. I then proceeded to defrost the goose stock instead of the chicken stock. The bastardise results however do not disappoint – not only will we be eating this amazing goodness all week but I suspect regularly in the future (much like her asian coleslaw thing – which I make almost every week). Oh Mez, when are we gonna make that cookbook: you with all the flair and inspiration, me with the anal suggestions to perhaps be a bit more specific in your measurements of veggies and include all the ingredients in a list at the top, lest someone realise at the very last moment they don’t have coriander. I kid, I kid. Of course I didn’t forget the coriander. The first rule of recipe making is to read the whole thing through carefully first. Lest coriander or the need for a 7 inch soufflé dish trip you up at the final hurdle.

• The past week has seen both boys have their first official haircut – something many have suggested is long overdue. And after my previous efforts were labelled ‘butchering’ Dave was given sole responsibility as to haircut stylings. Needless to say... well... there does not appear to be much cutting of hair that took place. Length remains virtually the same, with fringes mildly shortened and Rocco’s bulk removed. Cute as always, but i’m dismayed by the fact that my nagging will resume in the blink of an eye as their thunderous locks will be replenished almost overnight.

• Toilet training. Full steam ahead. These past few days has seen us putting Fred on his Thomas potty every 15 minutes with the promise of fire trucks and gingerbread men. A few accidents here and there and a few successes. It is an exhausting addition to our daily life, but seems to be going well and Fred will no doubt master this skill with his typical aplomb.



And on a final note, may I say how nicely things are going for our little family. After an up and down 2009, 2010 seems to be promising some great things. We have had a great week, and I find myself prouder and more excited about the future than I have in a long time. Full steam ahead!!

you MUST watch this

this is one of hte most amazng things I have seen in a long time (and I spend a lot of time looking at amazing things online, so trust me). Thank you to Buff for bringing this to my attention, the impact was immense.

Turn up the volume and enjoy:

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1264197074519RA60


updated:
this is a completely different thing to the one above, but i enjoy immensely each time i watch
(if you tube pulls it go to College Humour website and plug in 'Dangerous Wands'

Introducing Charles Robert Brooks.

Hey there blogland! I’m an Aunty!!!!! Charles Robert Brooks! Charlie was born 10.25 pm 19/01/10 3.15kg (6.94lbs). Liv, Chad and the little man are all well. Well done you two! Pictures imminent.

Roy sports a touch of sun. Why? Been fishing all day. See the new grandchild? Nah, it can wait - the weather is perfect for fishing! Humourous on one level, doubly so because he packed the camera.....

Rocco holds Charlie

Daytrippin': Clovelly

Clovelly is one of the quaint tourist attractions (if not THE attraction) in the northern part of Devon (west of Appledore and the Ho! See map below) which is famous because, god DANG, it is steep. Dating back to the Norman Conquest, Clovelly is a town built into the cleft of a 400ft cliff. Why? No idea. None of the travel brochures actually addressed this madness. I like to think that it is the result of a drunken dare from one Lord to another. Oh the English! They sure know a thing or two about comedy hijinks! But I guess WHY is beside the point. Referenced in great English literature (Kipling, Dickens) it is privately owned (hence a hefty £8 entry fee) and has been so by 3 families since the beginning of (it’s) time. A fishing hub once, today it’s main bag must no doubt be tourists who come to see the sledges and donkeys that rule the town in place of cars. Oh how quaint! And sarcasm aside, there were elements of it that really took my fancy. No doubt had I not been holding onto a stupidly heavy pram as we descended the steepest cobbles known to man in minus 43 degree temperatures, I might have found myself quite besotted with the place.

As this daytrip happened on one of the last days of our holiday, we decided that Dave and I could both choose to visit the one place we felt we could not miss. Dave chose Clovelly. I chose The Big Sheep.

It's hard to see, but i attempted to circle The Big Sheep on the map. Now. Any good Australian worth their salt would expect to be greeted by the sight of an enormous fibreglass sheep. Indeed, I was almost beside myself at the prospect of an enormous sheep and on the verge of forgiving the English for the previous night’s fish and chips, Jordan and their dubious nationalisation of foreign cricket players. But after 5 years in this country: I should have known better... so i got what i deserved. (note: that link above could be the most inspiring thing I have seen on the internet in 2010. The big potato!)

no large sheep. In fact, not a sheep for miles. It was some sort of lame theme park. Lame, lame, lame.

Clovelly: Before the descent.

i have no idea why i spent so many years worrying about my chin when it is patently obvious the nose is the issue

obviously not dressed by mama.

top of the town

you may notice some clothes changing happening. An unexpected bonus from the rather small age gap between the two (plus Fred is so slight and rocco is tubba)

old cobbles!

it was this sort of thing that took my fancy. Lovingly placed on exhibition to the passing hoards, kitsch, slightly-mad--nana mementos. Just right for the type of person who would choose to live in this freaky unusual town

i must get one of these

sledge. And a bowl of water for passing doggies. How kind

sorry doggies.

this never gets old does it? I would have born 6 of these had the store been open

how things are transported into the town

fruit

tiny but genuinely charming harbour. Tide out (duh)

i can’t even tell you how steep (and high) these stairs are. Something of a pansy when it comes to heights, i’m surprised i got close enough to take this

clovelly from below. Only took 15 minutes, 43 swearwords, 4 arguments and 2 heather meltdowns.

the truck that took the less able (aka pram inflicted) back to the top of the hill. probably the mine and fred’s fav bit. Mine because it heralded car heating and Fred’s because... well... we’re in the back of a ute. Unfortunately unable to exactly capture the sheer joy on his face.

heartbreaking conclusion to ute ride